風 a cool breeze

Do you know what I hate the most from a selection test? Is the”we’ll call you in 2 weeks if you are selected” and after a month have passed they never called. Yeah, I know it means that I failed to passed the test but can’t they told me that I didn’t passed so I can continue to look for another opportunity with ease? It’s felt like a hope that never comes true but it’s to precious to thrown away.

In the first time I think it’s because mine is in another place but right now I think it’s because I need to push myself to the limit or God have another way for me. Yeah almost all of my failure is the last quarter of the selection. I always brag myself on how I can pass the first or the second test easily but after a few phase of the test I finally lost my confidences. Now, this sentence always spins around in my mind. “Do I take the wrong turn?”

I felt like my world is turning so fast and I just stand still without capable of doing something. I watch my friend grow stronger and other peoples take a step ahead trying to achieve their goals. My thought is trapped between the past and the future. I can’t move freely and is not because I don’t want to. I am a typical person who can’t take off the past easily and always rush to gain the future. Well that’s why I hate the sentence “we’ll call you in two weeks” and of course doing nothing for a long period. I am trapped because I need to rethink about my plan. I think God doesn’t agree with my previous plan or He wanted to say that “you’ll have to do something before continuing” and I need to find what He want for me to do is.

I need to find the answer quickly. I know that He doesn’t want to tell easily like the last time but hope it doesn’t like six years ago. That time I need almost one year to find the answer. Isn’t that a long time just to find an answer? But I never regret it. It was really had to use one year for me to learn. Anyway God always kind to me, and I thank Him for that, He gave another job to do and yeah this job suitable enough for me. I hope I can do it.

Oh yeah, I’m a fans of Yui right now. A few weeks ago I got Yui’s songs from my friend and I think her song is so great. I will post Yui’s song, Life, as soon as I find the video on youtube. Bye

I took a personality test in FB. A friend of mine gave an invitation and I said " oh well why dont we try it". The result is this ISFJ. Its different from a test that i took a few years ago and the result is different also. I havent read all the result though..

ISFJ
The Nurturer
Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

, kind, and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other's feelings.
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.

ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.

ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.

ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.

ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.

The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.

More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.

Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.

The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.

ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".

The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.

ISFJs place a great deal of importance on their personal relationships. They're generally very giving and loving people, who place the needs of others above their own. They sometimes have a problem with becoming overly emotionally needy, and with keeping their true feelings hidden from others. They take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships. ISFJs are extremely dependable, and put forth a lot of energy into keeping things running smoothly. They sometimes have difficulty saying "no" when asked to do something, and therefore may be taken for granted.

ISFJ Strengths

● Warm, friendly and affirming by nature

● Service-oriented, wanting to please others

● Good listeners

● Will put forth lots of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations

● Excellent organizational capabilities

● Good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs

● Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money

● Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships

ISFJ Weaknesses

● Don't pay enough attention to their own needs

● May have difficulty branching out into new territory

● Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism

● Unlikely to express their needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside

● Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship

● Have difficulty moving on after the end of a relationship


ISFJs as Lovers

ISFJs are committed to their relationships. They have very intense feelings, which is not immediately apparent to others because they tend to hold things inside themselves without expressing them, unless they have a strong reason to do so. Their intensity of feeling makes their intimate relationship their first priority in life, with the possible exception of God. They seek monogamous, lifelong commitments, and can be depended upon to be faithful and loyal to their mates once they have made a commitment.

ISFJs have a difficult time leaving a relationship which is bad, or accepting that a relationship is over. They tend to put all of the blame on their own shoulders, and wonder what they should have done to make things work out. If they have been loyal to their vows and have done their duties, they will be at a complete loss as to what went wrong, and will have great difficulty accepting the end. They are "true blue" lovers, and may even remain faithful to their deceased partners.

ISFJs tend to be very selfless, and to put the needs of others well before their own needs. This may backfire on them, if they get into a situation in which they are taken advantage of, and do not have a good outlet for their strong emotions. In this kind of situation, the ISFJ might bottle up their feelings inside them, and form strong resentments against others. The ISFJ should work on recognizing their own needs, and place some importance on meeting them, rather than always putting the needs of others first. After all, if you can't take care of yourself, how can take care of someone else?

Sexually, the ISFJ sees intimacy as a tangible way of strengthening their relationship bonds. They also see as something of a duty, and are likely to be more interested in serving their partner than in their own personal satisfaction. Although the ISFJ is not likely to be very wordy about expressing their love and affection, they're likely to do so through their deeds, and will deeply value their partner's responding affirmations.

The ISFJ is very warm and selfless. They'll put forth tremendous amounts of energy and time into doing what they feel is their duty. What makes them feel best about themselves is when others show them their appreciation of the ISFJ. Consequently, the best gift that the partner of an ISFJ can give them is the expression of their love and appreciation.

ISFJs have difficulty with conflict situations, and would much prefer to just sweep things under the rug. Sometimes facing a conflict situation helps to resolve it, and the ISFJ should realize that the world will not end if they face the conflict, and express how they feel about it. A conflict situation is not necessarily a "problem" which needs to be gotten rid of, and it is also not necessarily the ISFJ's fault. It's a common problem for ISFJ's to not express their feelings until pushed to some limit, after which they explode in anger and say things which they later feel they shouldn't have said. These kinds of outbursts can be reduced by expressing their feelings on a more regular basis, rather than keeping them pent up inside.

In general, the ISFJ is usually a traditional, family-minded individual who places the comfort of their mates and families as their first priority in life. They're great for providing for everyday basic needs, and have a depth of caring which is very unusual, and not found in most types. They highly invested in the health of their relationships, and will work very hard to make things run smoothly. They are dependable and affectionate lovers.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the ISFJ's natural partner is the ESTP, or the ESFP. ISFJ's dominant function of Introverted Sensing is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Sensing.

ISFJs as Parents

Parenthood is seen as natural state and duty to the ISFJ. They are responsible about ensuring that their children have their practical needs met, and try to teach them the rules and observations of our society so that they grow into responsible and independent adults.

ISFJs may have difficulty administering punishment or discipline to their children, although most are able to overcome this discomfort because they feel it is their greater duty to instill their children with sound values. As individuals who value order and structure, they're likely to create well-defined boundaries and roles for their children to live within.

ISFJ parents have a very difficult time if their children grow into "problem" adults. They tend to believe that it is their responsibility, and that they didn't work hard enough to raise their children well. This may or may not be the case, but usually it isn't. ISFJs usually put forth a lot of energy and effort and don't give themselves credit for doing so.

In many ways, an ISFJ makes an ideal parent. Their children will not lack for structure, appropriate guidelines, or warmth and affection. Their children will remember and value the ISFJ parent for their warm natures and genuine efforts on their children's behalf.

ISFJs as Friends

Although the ISFJ is likely to place God and family above their friends in their priorities, they genuinely enjoy spending time with friends and colleagues. In fact, ISFJs usually feel a strong need to talk problems and issues over with people before making decisions on their actions. Some ISFJs like to discuss things over with their friends, rather than their families.

ISFJs enjoy spending time with most other types of people. The love to observe people's reactions and emotions in situations, and so enjoy being around diverse types of people. The ISFJ usually remains reserved around others, and does not open up very much. However, since they have a need to talk things over with others in order to make decisions, they do really need some close confidantes in their life. Their preference for these companions is other Sensing Feeling Judgers. They really enjoy and respect the company of Intuitive Feelers as well, but are not able to relate to them quite as well.

Friends of the ISFJ will value them for their warmth, dependability, depth of emotional awareness and understanding.

I like TransTV because off its unique show and no sinetron although they have semi sinetron right now. My favorite programs in this TV is The Coffee Bean Show and Wisata Kuliner and KPK and ala chef and many more..I think I used too much and...

TV One is like a provocative news television..many of its programs made me curious about the problems that are occurred.

Trans7 is the brother of TransTV and i like OKB and Opera van Java..

Metro is like TV one but more calm, that's why its color is blue and TV One is red..I like "its the candidate" espesially the young candidate..

Waa..patah hati ni, Gagal menggapai target operasi (TO). TO yang sudah kuincar selama hampir 2 tahun akhirnya tak tergapai juga. Sedih sih tapi semoga bisa memberikan pelajaran yang berharga. Tapi apa pelajarannya ya?

Beberapa hari yang lalu aku masih bersemangat untuk meraih TO itu. Soalnya yakin bisa lebih dekat dengan TO. Sayangnya beberapa hari yang lalu merasa bingung karena TOnya ga menghubungi. Selama kurang lebih 2 hari, mencari alasan dan menganalisa keadaan dan berharap ada secercah harapan akhirnya datang juga informasi yang memastikan bahwa yah memang sulit untuk diraih. Waktu itu aku sedang menekan keyboard komputer karena tidakbisa tidur. Lampu kamar masih temaram karena memang berencana untuk tidur.

Yah memang berharap keajaiban akan datang tapi lama kelamaan hilang juga kesabaran itu. Saatnya mencari TO baru. Tuhan memang begitu sayang dengan mahkluk-Nya. Sehari kemudian muncul TO baru yang cukup mengobati hati. Walaupun kemudian kandas lagi karena terlampau jauh untuk diraih tapi sempat kulihat langit indah yang sama kulihat ketika pulang dari medan perang yang berat. Langit yang begitu tenang dan membuat hati tersenyum berkata "Tuhan baik ya"

Masihkah aku bisa tertawa terbahak
Dari sempitnya waktu yang begitu gelap
Perjuangan hidup memeng sangatlah berat
Untuk melepaskan beban yang begitu mengikat

Haruskah ku hentikan waktu yang sedang berputar
Namun itu tak mungkin bisa untuk merubah segalanya

Aku masih bisa terus berjalan
Menikmati hidup meskipun sulit menjadi indah
Jadikan cobaan itu anugrah
Yang bisa merubah ruang yang gelap menjadi indah

(ST 12 - ruang hidup)

Potongan lirik lagu dari ST 12 itu benar-benar mengena di hati. Hidup tak selamanya indah dan tak selamanya suram. Ada masa-masa indah dan masa-masa suram. Semua itu bagian dari indahnya hidup yang hanya sementara ini. Suram juga indah? Iya, kesulitan-kesulitan yang membuat hidup kita terasa suram itu juga bagian dari keindahan hidup ini. Hidup yang benar-benar indah itu bukan hidup yang enak selalu. Uang seribu yang kita peroleh dari meminta takkan seberharga saat kita berjuang untuk mendapatkannya.

Pernah kita merasakan bagaimana kita menggapai apa yang menjadi keinginan kita? Ya kita berjuang untuk mendapatkannya. Seseorang yang mendapatkan keinginannya dari orang lain mungkin akan lebih merasa bahwa hidup itu indah jika mendapatkannya dengan spenuh hati. Walaupun sama bahagianya tapi ada rasa lain yaitu bangga yang meyelimuti saat berhasil meraih keinginan dengan jerih payah sendiri. Like, yes, this is me! Not, oh thank you sir or madam.

Tuhan memberikan manusia kekuatan untuk menggapai keinginanya tidak dengan semudah air yang jatuh kala hujan. Kekuatan itu hanya diberikan bagi mereka yang berhasil melewati tantangan-Nya. Manusia akan menjadi lebih kuat apabila ia melewati cobaan yang Tuhan berikan dengan baik. Pernah maen game RPG? Dalam game RPG, parameter kekuatan seorang karakter adalah levelnya. Semakin tinggi levelnya maka semakin kuat karakter tersebut. Untuk bisa menaikkan level maka karakter itu harus bisa mengalahkan musuh. Semakin kuat musuh yang dikalahkan maka semakin cepat level itu akan naik. Sama seperti manusia, semakin sulit cobaan yang dilaluinya maka semakin kuat pula manusia itu. Itulah proses pemberian kekuatan pada manusia.

Dalam salah satu ayat di Quran terdapat kalimat yang artinya kurang lebih adalah dibalik kesulitan ada kemudahan. Ini bisa berarti dua hal. Pertama, tidak semua hidup itu selalu sulit. Pasti ada kemudahan yang Tuhan berikan. Kedua, setelah kita melewati kesulitan dengan baik maka kita akan semakin kuat sehingga kita akan mudah menggapai keinginan kita sehingga hidup kita terasa lebih mudah.

Seorang binaraga atau orang yang senang berolah-raga pasti merasa lebih kuat daripada sebelum berolah-raga. Yang dulunya hanya sanggup mengangkat beban 10 kilo bisa naik menjadi 20 kilo dengan berolah-raga. Olah raga memberikan tekanan kepada otot dan tubuh kita sehingga otot dan tubuh kita berkembang untuk menyesuaikan beban itu. Mungkin ini memang kodrat kita sebagai manusia yang tidak memiliki kemampuan sebagai mahkluk yang terhebat. Kita masih kalah dengan mahkluk seperti singa, beruang, dan pohon besar tetapi kita punya kemampuan untuk berkembang yang sangat baik.

Percayalah bahwa setiap cobaan merupakan bentuk dari kasih sayang Tuhan kepada kita. Lihatlah kemudahan-kemudahan didepan yang telah Tuhan siapkan apabila kita melewati cobaan dari-Nya. Jadikan itu sebagai pemompa semangat untuk selalu berusaha dan tidak lupa untuk berdoa karena Tuhan lah yang tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita. Syukurilah apa yang Tuhan berikan untuk siap berusaha meraih yang telah Tuhan persiapkan didepan untuk kita.